Burr Principal Newsletter
November 25, 2019
Dear Burr Families,
I hope everyone has adjusted to the darker afternoons and 'nippy' weather. Celebrations of lights across many cultures are a great way to embrace the seasonal change. In the past month, we've followed up the spectacular Boo Fest with two additional cultural celebrations, which were a great hit. Burr families celebrated Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), on November 9, and Diwali on November 17. I was amazed with the assortment of activities that were offered at each event. These wonderful experiences were made possible by the hard work and commitment of really involved parents who believe in the importance of sharing their rich heritage with the Burr community. Thank you so much to all of you who organized, set up, and attended them. I know the PTO have many more great events planned throughout the year and I hope everyone reading this newsletter will volunteer to help out. Visit the Burr PTO webpage to see what is planned and where volunteers are still needed.
Here are some updates and important information for you to know.
Burr Student Council
On Friday, the Burr Students Council met on Friday to discuss options for supporting families in need during the holiday season. They decided to invite the Burr community to donate gift cards that can be distributed as needed. Gift cards of any value and to any vendor are much appreciated. Please be sure to list the gift amount clearly on each card. Student Council also decided to have a Pajama Day on Wednesday, November 27 to celebrate school spirit. For many of us, it is quite appealing to be able to come into school in cozy and comfortable sleepwear. Don't forget, school is out at noon on Wednesday.
Appropriate Cold Weather Wear
Looking ahead to December, the first week's forecast shows temperatures dipping below freezing. If you're new to Burr School, it's essential to know that we take the children out for recess every day unless it is raining or the temperature falls below 20 degrees. Children must come to school with appropriate clothing. A few students like to wear shorts in the building, and that is fine, but they must have long pants to change into for going outdoors. Children who are unprepared for cold weather will have to wait in the office area for recess to be over since the classroom staff will be outdoor supervising the rest of the class.
Staff Parking Lot
I want to remind everyone that during school hours, the Burr parking lot is for Burr staff only. Several staff members have informed me that they were not able to get into school on time because the parking lot was filled. There are more staff members than there are parking spots, so a few parents parking there creates a problem. The parking lot is open for public use at 3:15 PM.
Mental Health Resources
Our mental health team, Dr. Juarez and Ms. Eastburn are an excellent resource for children and families. You may have worked with one of them at some point in your time at Burr. Both of them are in and out of classrooms teaching whole class and small group lessons that support children's social-emotional wellbeing. This year, they have decided to focus on some topics that often come up and prepare a newsletter. Below is their first piece that offers advice for helping children with grief and loss.
I wish you all a relaxing Thanksgiving break.
Best,
Mindy Johal
Mental Health Resource: Helping Your Child Grieve
Dealing with death is never easy. Whether it be the loss of a beloved family member, a long-time pet, or a fish you’ve just introduced to the family, it can be overwhelming for adults and children alike. Children understand and cope with death in many different ways, and it is important to help them make sense of what has happened.
Here are some tips to help your children when a death has occurred:
Be honest about the death. Consider their age and developmental understanding of death. Younger children do not understand that death is permanent, that everyone and everything will eventually die, and that dead things don’t eat, sleep, or breathe. Death should not be explained as “sleep.” Use clear and simple language to let them know someone has died. Research shows that using words like dead and died, although it might feel uncomfortable to the adult, helps the grieving process.
Listen and comfort. Children react differently to the news of death. Some children cry, some are upset, some are quiet. Encourage your children to put their feelings into words and help them identify those words that might be confusing for them. Talk about your own feelings and show them it is ok to cry. Cry together. Accept your child’s response and assure them that whatever they are feeling is ok. Feelings and reactions may change over the next couple of days, weeks, or months. Validate changing feelings and continue to have these conversations to model the grieving process.
Let your child know what to expect. Consider sharing some information in doses, but let them know if there will be any changes in the day-to-day routine (e.g., Will someone else pick them up from school? Who will stay with them over the weekend?). Discuss adults that they can confide in during school. Let your child know that difficult feelings might come and go throughout the day and that this is ok and normal. For some children, distraction is a good coping strategy; for others, remembering positive interactions about the deceased is helpful, and some children find comfort in crying and talking about their loved one.
Create some sense of normalcy. While it might be a particularly difficult time for you as an adult, trying to keep to the schedules and routines is especially helpful for children. Going to school and continuing to take part in typical extracurricular activities and playdates is important. Continuing to eat balanced meals and getting enough sleep is critical for everyone.
Prepare your children for upcoming events. Whatever ritual your family will participate in, talk about what to expect with your children and their role in the event, if any. This can be an overwhelming activity for children----seeing lots of family and friends that they don’t often see, witnessing a range of emotions from adults, possibly seeing the body of the loved one that just died. If your child will be included in these activities, come up with a plan in case they need an “out.” Will you have a secret signal if they recognize that they need a break, and who will help them take this break? If they cannot verbalize that they need a break, what behavioral clues will you notice that will show you that they need a break?
Grieving takes time. Give yourself and your child time to grieve. It is long lasting and children and adults alike don’t just “get over it.” There are resources available to help you and your family. Continue to revisit these conversations and assure them (and yourself) that healing does not mean forgetting about the person.
Resources:
Jeff’s Place, in Framingham, offers individual and family counseling, community support groups with families, child specific bereavement groups, consultation to families and schools, and crisis counseling.
The Children’s Room, in Arlington, offers parent support groups, support groups for teens and Good Grief, at the Boston Medical Center, offers consultation and information to families and schools, bereavement groups for children and teenagers, crisis training and protocols.
Children’s Books:
A Complete Book About Death for Kids by Earl Grollman and Joy Johnson
Everett Anderson’s Goodbye by Lucille Clifton
I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland
The Next Place by Warren Hanson
The Saddest Time by Norma Simon
Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs by Susan Schaefer Bernardo
What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? by Trevor Romain
Where is Grandpa? by T.A. Barron children, family nights, resources for schools, and information and referrals.
Dear Burr Families,
I hope everyone has adjusted to the darker afternoons and 'nippy' weather. Celebrations of lights across many cultures are a great way to embrace the seasonal change. In the past month, we've followed up the spectacular Boo Fest with two additional cultural celebrations, which were a great hit. Burr families celebrated Dia De Los Muertos (Day of the Dead), on November 9, and Diwali on November 17. I was amazed with the assortment of activities that were offered at each event. These wonderful experiences were made possible by the hard work and commitment of really involved parents who believe in the importance of sharing their rich heritage with the Burr community. Thank you so much to all of you who organized, set up, and attended them. I know the PTO have many more great events planned throughout the year and I hope everyone reading this newsletter will volunteer to help out. Visit the Burr PTO webpage to see what is planned and where volunteers are still needed.
Here are some updates and important information for you to know.
Burr Student Council
On Friday, the Burr Students Council met on Friday to discuss options for supporting families in need during the holiday season. They decided to invite the Burr community to donate gift cards that can be distributed as needed. Gift cards of any value and to any vendor are much appreciated. Please be sure to list the gift amount clearly on each card. Student Council also decided to have a Pajama Day on Wednesday, November 27 to celebrate school spirit. For many of us, it is quite appealing to be able to come into school in cozy and comfortable sleepwear. Don't forget, school is out at noon on Wednesday.
Appropriate Cold Weather Wear
Looking ahead to December, the first week's forecast shows temperatures dipping below freezing. If you're new to Burr School, it's essential to know that we take the children out for recess every day unless it is raining or the temperature falls below 20 degrees. Children must come to school with appropriate clothing. A few students like to wear shorts in the building, and that is fine, but they must have long pants to change into for going outdoors. Children who are unprepared for cold weather will have to wait in the office area for recess to be over since the classroom staff will be outdoor supervising the rest of the class.
Staff Parking Lot
I want to remind everyone that during school hours, the Burr parking lot is for Burr staff only. Several staff members have informed me that they were not able to get into school on time because the parking lot was filled. There are more staff members than there are parking spots, so a few parents parking there creates a problem. The parking lot is open for public use at 3:15 PM.
Mental Health Resources
Our mental health team, Dr. Juarez and Ms. Eastburn are an excellent resource for children and families. You may have worked with one of them at some point in your time at Burr. Both of them are in and out of classrooms teaching whole class and small group lessons that support children's social-emotional wellbeing. This year, they have decided to focus on some topics that often come up and prepare a newsletter. Below is their first piece that offers advice for helping children with grief and loss.
I wish you all a relaxing Thanksgiving break.
Best,
Mindy Johal
Mental Health Resource: Helping Your Child Grieve
Dealing with death is never easy. Whether it be the loss of a beloved family member, a long-time pet, or a fish you’ve just introduced to the family, it can be overwhelming for adults and children alike. Children understand and cope with death in many different ways, and it is important to help them make sense of what has happened.
Here are some tips to help your children when a death has occurred:
Be honest about the death. Consider their age and developmental understanding of death. Younger children do not understand that death is permanent, that everyone and everything will eventually die, and that dead things don’t eat, sleep, or breathe. Death should not be explained as “sleep.” Use clear and simple language to let them know someone has died. Research shows that using words like dead and died, although it might feel uncomfortable to the adult, helps the grieving process.
Listen and comfort. Children react differently to the news of death. Some children cry, some are upset, some are quiet. Encourage your children to put their feelings into words and help them identify those words that might be confusing for them. Talk about your own feelings and show them it is ok to cry. Cry together. Accept your child’s response and assure them that whatever they are feeling is ok. Feelings and reactions may change over the next couple of days, weeks, or months. Validate changing feelings and continue to have these conversations to model the grieving process.
Let your child know what to expect. Consider sharing some information in doses, but let them know if there will be any changes in the day-to-day routine (e.g., Will someone else pick them up from school? Who will stay with them over the weekend?). Discuss adults that they can confide in during school. Let your child know that difficult feelings might come and go throughout the day and that this is ok and normal. For some children, distraction is a good coping strategy; for others, remembering positive interactions about the deceased is helpful, and some children find comfort in crying and talking about their loved one.
Create some sense of normalcy. While it might be a particularly difficult time for you as an adult, trying to keep to the schedules and routines is especially helpful for children. Going to school and continuing to take part in typical extracurricular activities and playdates is important. Continuing to eat balanced meals and getting enough sleep is critical for everyone.
Prepare your children for upcoming events. Whatever ritual your family will participate in, talk about what to expect with your children and their role in the event, if any. This can be an overwhelming activity for children----seeing lots of family and friends that they don’t often see, witnessing a range of emotions from adults, possibly seeing the body of the loved one that just died. If your child will be included in these activities, come up with a plan in case they need an “out.” Will you have a secret signal if they recognize that they need a break, and who will help them take this break? If they cannot verbalize that they need a break, what behavioral clues will you notice that will show you that they need a break?
Grieving takes time. Give yourself and your child time to grieve. It is long lasting and children and adults alike don’t just “get over it.” There are resources available to help you and your family. Continue to revisit these conversations and assure them (and yourself) that healing does not mean forgetting about the person.
Resources:
Jeff’s Place, in Framingham, offers individual and family counseling, community support groups with families, child specific bereavement groups, consultation to families and schools, and crisis counseling.
The Children’s Room, in Arlington, offers parent support groups, support groups for teens and Good Grief, at the Boston Medical Center, offers consultation and information to families and schools, bereavement groups for children and teenagers, crisis training and protocols.
Children’s Books:
A Complete Book About Death for Kids by Earl Grollman and Joy Johnson
Everett Anderson’s Goodbye by Lucille Clifton
I Miss You: A First Look at Death by Pat Thomas
The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
The Memory Box by Joanna Rowland
The Next Place by Warren Hanson
The Saddest Time by Norma Simon
Sun Kisses, Moon Hugs by Susan Schaefer Bernardo
What on Earth Do You Do When Someone Dies? by Trevor Romain
Where is Grandpa? by T.A. Barron children, family nights, resources for schools, and information and referrals.